“This afternoon, my girlfriend and I were perusing Pier One Imports for a lampshade and we…ahem…came across this beautiful massager that comically resembles cocknballs. I would like to formally submit this entry for voting because I believe it is a classic example of public display of a thing that looks like cocknballs.
Happy to help chronicle this cocknballs event!
P.S. We purchased it.”
Of COURSE you purchased it!